keep walking

Have you ever read a story that is so good that when it ends you just have a feeling of loss?
It’s bittersweet… and things came to my mind like.. ‘aaww so beautiful.. I’m so happy for the couple in the story.. I’m glad they’re finally together.. what a nice ending.. but… that’s it? no more? I can’t read it anymore?’ =(

This is the feeling that I have now after reading Bokura ga ita (we were there). Technically speaking, it hasn’t ended, one more chapter to go, but I think the ending is obvious la..

Sigh. sad.
It’s been a while since I really like a shojo. Normally, shonen is the kind of manga that gets me excited and motivated. Anyway.. I need to move on… shall look for more shojo!!

i’ve been wanting to journal down something here but couldn’t seem to bring myself to log in.. i guess it’s just pure laziness =P

anyway, it’s 2011!
can’t believe that more than half a year has passed since the day i got married. it felt like yesterday yet felt like ages ago.

days have been pretty good, if i may sum up my 2010 in points:

1) spent the first half of the year with wedding preparation which was fun now that i think back about it

2) went to hk for the first time and yah i really enjoyed the violent dim sum and desserts

3) had a really memorable wedding and relaxing honeymoon in bali

4) got to know merv’s side of family and friends better, with the xmas trip back to kuching as well

5) adjusted well to being a married woman and sleeping in a non air-con room.. and i’ve been sleeping really early too compared to last time! it’s not that bad actually haha

6) looking at how our cg grew (mostly in numbers) and also in friendship. in 2010, we had quite a lot of transfers and made a lot of new frens

7) had a peaceful year at work and i think i got an increment last year too.. praise the Lord

unfortunately, i missed my savings goal for the year. need more discipline in saving up~

there are many many small blessings too.. like how we got our complete whole day wedding video for free and they only charged us half price for their service in the morning… and how much i love the wedding pics that irving gave us.. and many more..

for this year, i am looking forward to a few things:

1) spending great time of cny with my family at batam. even my cute nephew james will be there

2) our cg first overnight outing at kukup next month

3) nz trip in march. gonna be our first road trip and i think i’ll enjoy it much.. it’s nz after all *heaven on earth*

4) gonna have our church conference at indoor stadium and yes it clashes with my first wedding anniversary, so we’re going to celebrate it with thousands over ppl :p

5) mei’s wedding at the end of the year!

but at the end of the day, i am looking forward the most to how God will grow me this year
i’m sure it will be a big growth to our cg too.

cheers to a new great year ahead..

ah.. i’m not looking forward to 2012 though.. when i will finally turn 30. mew.

I feel greatly disturbed by the various ridiculous reasons that believers give in order to avoid their duties as God’s family member

well.. i’m not just talking about letting go in terms of eating.. though i admit that i haven’t been watching my diet at all lately

on monday, we are called to let go of something precious in our life, which is also the root of evil at the same time.
it’s definitely not easy when you think about it, especially when you have certain other desires for things of the world.. like holiday, ps3, new phone or new camera for merv’s case.. but God reminded me of a few things:

1) Nehemiah could have chosen to be indifferent when he heard the news bout Jerusalem, he could just continue living his life as the king’s cup-bearer.. but he did not. he fasted and prayed, and he decided to take the responsibility to rebuild the wall. i certainly believe rebuilding the wall was not an easy job (duh) but he did it anyway.
he knew who he was, and where he belonged.. and what he did was really pleasing to God..

2) we have done this before as a church.. look at nexus now and how we have been so blessed by it. God was faithful then and he’s faithful now. it is important for man (and church) to move on to next stage.. we have grown and in order to grow even more, we cannot stay stagnant in our comfortable zone.

3) if our family face problems, we won’t hesitate to help no matter what it takes. all these years, merv and i have called Hope our home. this is our family (not to mention it’s the place that brought us together as a couple)

i love my family of God.. and i love the God of our family.. when i think about this, letting go is not that hard anymore.

anyway, money has never been ours to begin with =)

it has been so long..
since susi and weiling reminded me to update my blog, i decided to write something here

but first, i just wanna put the song that will always remind me of my wedding:

yes.. i’m married!

it has been an amazing 2 1/2 mths indeed. i am not sure how i can put everything down here, except thanking God for every blessing that He has put in our lives during this period.
the presence of our friends (especially those who helped out in our wedding), the very good weather that He has provided, the financial blessing.. everything..

for me, it was a really beautiful and lovely wedding that we had. wouldn’t want to have it differently.

just like how i wouldn’t want to marry anyone else but my beloved husband

thank You Lord
maybe it’s true.. two is better than one

oh wow it’s been a month.

blogging doesn’t seem to be the in thing anymore.. but i like journalling.. there’s always a need to put down my precious moments in words..

the past month has been really fruitful. i guess that’s the most suitable word to describe it.

1) wedding preparation is going on well:

bridesmaid dresses
we settled with pink, not exactly the colour that i was looking for but….. pink looks nice on my lovely bridesmaids!! seriously.. i can’t wait for the day to see them in those pretty dresses.
with $74.50 each (thanks to package from occasion- raffles city), i am relieved.

invitation cards
we have confirmed the content, picked the design and even collected them. now they’re sitting at home waiting for the guests names to be written in.

hotel arrangement
more or less settled. we had our food tasting (accompanied by our great friends who also celebrated merv’s bday).. and we have chosen our wedding favors! to my surprise, i am very very pleased with the options that they gave for the gifts.
now we just need to finalize all the other small details~

ROM filing
appointment set! waiting for the day to collect our documents

we have also met shuz to work on the program.. really blessed to have her as our wedding coordinator

2) i got a new desktop in office!
finally, i got rid of my old slow windows 2000.. no more lag….
i have to say that i’m loving windows 7.. and my new 20′ wide monitor helps me a lot with my work. joy*

3) caregroup has been great too.
one thing i need to blog down is our event last friday at marina barrage. yes we decided to have a different kind of activity ~ night picnic and kite flying. though we only had one kite (thanks to shuer for bringing the shark kite), i think it was night spent well..
most of the time we’re just sitting down, eating, chatting, admiring the view.. and.. playing cards. haha.
the most amazing thing is all our own ppl managed to come down and we had 13 visitors in total (i think).. all i know is we had more visitors than regulars. lol. good to know more friends!

and yes.. marina barrage at night is niceeee

4) ID2010 conference
yeah how can i forget this? the last night of conference was the most powerful one. i didn’t leave without being touched by God, i think most of us should feel the same way. thank You Lord for the personal reminder!

5) other 2 important events would be ruth & junhuang’s wedding (congrats to both hehe) and merv’s bday ~

speaking about the bday, i really enjoy slacking around at holland village in the afternoon. it’s empty and nice.
we went for a simple lunch at swensen’s before proceeding to afond spa (recommended by roy) for massage. it’s my first time going for a massage hahaa so it’s quite an experience ~ felt so good after the session and i’m thankful they didn’t break any of my bones though it felt that way.
pasta brava is definitely the way to end the lovely day… with an additional surprise at the end of the day for the bday boy when part of our cg ppl gathered at istana for celebration~~

6) i’m an aunt!! my sis in-law just gave a birth to a son (which is my first nephew)
james.. he’s so adorable – from the pic – and i’m so happy for my parents too, being very proud grandparents =)

strangely i can only remember the good things over the past one month. lol. the next one month will be a very busy month but.. it will be good. for sure.

with much laziness, i’ll still continue putting updates of myself here so that in years to come, i can search back and read what i have gone through ~

about 2.5 mths to go, merv and i have more or less confirmed the attendance for our wedding.. talking about efficient.. or kiasuness.. whatever it is, it’s better to plan early. lol.

last sat, we went to the printing company (accompanied by our faithful companion gabriel). we made a choice for the card design and the content.. decided not to have chinese wordings and keep it simple. thankfully my parents are okay with it.. well, they’re okay with anything. all left is to confirm the printing and we’ll get them on time.

on sunday, brought my sister and germs to the bridal to choose their dresses. not quite easy,  germs had to change quite a few times (not to mention someone thought certain dress makes her ass look big -_-) anyway, we settled on a nice one for her.. and yes i have a really pretty maid of honor ^^
on the other hand, there are not many options for my sis since she’s looking for a non-white dress.. but we still managed to find a nice one for her too. this wedding singer of mine has many scary ideas for the wedding.. if she dares to pull them off.

anyway, just glad that we managed to settle it. now we’re hunting for morning bridesmaid dresses, hopefully can find a nice cheap ones =)

came back from cg to see a bunch of mails at home
and yes God is really good!

1) my insurance plan is giving me $330 bonus this year
2) my income tax this year is soooo much lower than i thought (cos i had more deductibles from life insurance)
3) my phone bill is also lower than i thought (considering all those overseas calls and new data plan)

YAY

side note -  i came across these places as i was researching on hokkaido:

Otaru Canal, Hokkaido

Rebun Island, Hokkaido

aih.. hokkaido, i’m coming to you soon….

i’ve been lazy.. i admit.
there’s no point doing so many things if i don’t remember the basic. i think the recent God’s Aim series reminded us that. learning is easy, practicing is another.

have i spent more time with God in devotion? reading the bible?
have i prayed more?
have i fasted?
have i invited someone closer to God?

i have a great leader and fellow core members in the group =) it’s not just about the fellowship.. gathering.. playing wii.. talking crap.. but we want to really spur one another again to work on our own spiritual growth. so after the fruitful meeting last sat, we decided to embark on our fasting week. not gonna be easy.. after all, i haven’t fasted for so long.. gastric keeps on bugging me. but it’s not just about skipping meals.. it’s about spending more time in devotion.. in journaling.. in praying. and with that, the hunger becomes insignificant.
i feel excited on what God can do in our lives and he’s going to show us the way.
we’ll have a new identity and new direction.. to something better =)
can’t wait to meet my ‘family’ again for the next meeting this weekend.

meanwhile.. there are things that i do not want to do anymore and things that i want to start doing.
much discipline needed.

it makes me happy to know that my to do list is getting shorter

we have accomplished two major things over the weekend:
-  pics for the wedding album
-  arrangement for honeymoon

and thanks to eve, we have a really pretty pair of holy communion cups for the wedding

i’m beginning to enjoy this whole process ~